|Paul liked to write letters to people|
Deep doop doop deep deep doop...doop......deep......doop
And today's winner is: Romans 6:22 (and because I'm a nice guy, I'll throw in verse 23 as well)
Ok so this isn't really a very interesting verse since it is just pure babble. But let's not allow that to stop us!
But now you have been set free from sin and are the slaves of God. Your gain is a life fully dedicated to him, and the result is eternal life. For sin pays its wage - death; but God's free gift is eternal life in union with Christ Jesus our Lord.What can you even say to that? Yay! You're still a slave, but now instead of doing whatever makes you happy, you're now a slave to serve your master's happiness!
Can't you feel the joy?
Let's play again. Maybe our luck will be better this time.
Deep doop doop deep deep doop...doop......deep......doop.....Ephesians 6:5-8!!!
As I flipped through my Bible to find this verse, I stopped at the beginning of the book where my Bible gives a little background on who wrote the book and for what purpose. I found the description for Ephesians rather amusing (emphasis mine):
Paul's letter to the Ephesians is concerned first of all with "God's plan...to bring all creation together, everything in heaven and on earth, with Christ as head" (1.10). It is also an appeal to God's people to live out the meaning of this great plan for the unity of mankind through oneness with Jesus Christ.So is God not really omnipotent? He needs a third part to appeal to the masses to get them to do what he wants?
I'm sure the theologians would say that this is a reflection of free will that god has bestowed on humanity, but if the consequence of not following god's "great plan" is eternal torture, then is that really free will? And if fire and brimstone isn't really the consequence, then the "great plan" isn't really that important if there's the distinct possibility that it won't be fulfilled, is it? Or does god just smite you for an afternoon so that you'll get with the program?
But let's move on to the actual verse:
Slaves, obey your human masters with fear and trembling [oh goddamit, this is supposed to be the enlightened New Testament that espouses progressive values]; and do it witha sincere heart, as though you were serving Christ. Do this not only when they are watching you, because you want to gain their approval; but with all your heart do what God wants [funny how everyone seems to have a different interpretation of what their god wants], as slaves of Christ. Do your work as slaves cheerfully, and as though you served the Lord, and not merely men. Remember that the Lord will reward everyone, whether slave or free, for the good work he does.It is quite clear that the message is that slaves are to remain slaves for the good of the aristocracy. No upward mobility should be attempted since this would be a violation of their commitment to their human lords. Its really reads as if god put the slaves there deliberately and any attempt at freedom would amount to attempted contravention of his will. Nice guy.
The New Testament is pissing me off now; is it really any better than the fire and brimstone of the Old Testament?